Living With Yourself
by T E A CRUMPETS
Summary: America absolutely hated his life, it sucks. only because he's stuck living with all his Alternate universe selves, along with his boyfriend England' s. Problem? all the AUs have the hots for their American or British counterpart... Lots of AUs! All USUK rated T for language and implied sexy times!
1. welcome to a not so happy family

"You son of a bitch!" "Funny, you called yourself a bitch. Then again only scum like you would be stupid enough to say it" "you shut your fucking mouth shit!" "Language Alfred" "you have no right to call me that if that's your name too feathers!" Alfred F. Jones or America groaned in his bed as he heard the two identical voices arguing downstairs.

Alfred groaned again as he heard somthing crash to the floor then a strangled choking sound. `someone please kill me` Alfred wished so badly it would come true "sorry Alfie thats not going to happen today lovely!" Alfred shivered as he felt his comforter ripped off him by a strawberry blonde man with pink and blue eyes wearing a (horrible) neon pink sweater vest and neon blue bowtie. "Come now lad, be glad it wasn`t Artur to wake you up.

a new day means new fun! Arthur is waiting for you downstairs... the Nation one that is." And with a creepy giggle the bright british man ran back downstairs, calling out "Oh Alfie!~~ where is my darling?" . Alfred sighed as he slowly got up from bed and slowly shuffled to the shower. God why did he have to be a nation? Why?! If he knew it came with all these problems, more like annoyances he would have stayed a colony.

He sighed in relaxation as the hot water ran down his body... "having fun there?". Alfred nearly screamed as a floating figure came into view. A demon, one with red hair and black horns wearing a black world war II RAF uniform with a red undershirt. "GODAMNIT ARTUR! Will you stop doing that?! Every god damn day you do this!" The red headed demon just shook his head and smirked "nope! So sorry Alfred deary but I must be getting back to Acirem! Biii!-~" . Yep this defianetly sucked. Living with all your alternate universe selves okay, but when your boyfriend moves in with all of his, not okay.

The first ones to come were okay, it was angel Arthur, then Fantasia, Cat, female, and mochi. They were all fine, not hard to control and very easy to deal with. Alfred however soon found out that HIS alternate selves (him included) had a thing for Arthur's AU selves. Of course Angel Alfred fell in love with Angel Arthur, an Americat and Iggycat, and etc. Etc. Etc... one day he and England had went out on a date only to return to a noisy chaotic home full of more AUS. 'That was the day my life turned hell...' Alfred thought as he rubbed the shampoo into his hair. That horrible day was when the "Sweet" 'slutty, bipolar, unstable relationship, demons!' Alfred ranted to himself... *ahem* "Sweet Devils" came, along with the Cardverse, 2ps, and gakuen AUS.

Of course the Angels were furious at the devils for even existing and hence the screaming and 'trying to tear each other balls off' match between... demon England (Artur) ((yes it is A.R.T.U.R)) and Angel England (Britannia)... yep between the lovely little Ukes of the relationship while their semes cheered them on (Demon Alfred... more like "babe i'll be sure to fuck you extra if you win!") Of course Demon Arthur was about to win had they not gotten inside in time.

The Cards... well they were playing with their clocks... more like having a miniture war where one would shoot the other and the other would quickly touch their clock and freeze the bullets or weapon and vice versa... Crazy, fucking, happy family right?! "God I hate this so damn bloody much!" Alfred ranted as he ran downstairs for breakfast after his shower... only to see. Artur and Acirem (demon Alfred) moaning and making out on the couch with less then half of their clothes on(sex counts as breakfast guys!), the cards were glaring at each other eating, Alice and Amelia were being the mature (slightly) ones eating with HIS Arthur, the mochis were cuddling, etc. Etc. Etc. And somewhere in all this noise you could hear a giant plop sound and a strangled meow of pain from iggycat from Americat jumping down on him.

"Morning love..." Arthur got up from his seat and gave Alfred a quick peck on the cheek. "Hey babe! So who tried to kill each other this morning?" Arthur growled slightly in annoyance. "Americana and Acirem, over the fact that Acirem has sex with Artur as a food source in public" Alfred sighed. "Dude when is Americana going to realize Acriem has too have sex to survive?!" Arthur shrugged "When he stops being an angel love... so never" the morning went semi peacefully until a loud shriek of anger, the sound of a hand hitting flesh, and a crying red headed demon flying upstairs got everyones attention.

Arthur looked up from his book and raised his eyebrow at Queen (Cardverse England) "was that Artur?" Queen stared back passively and nodded and said "Want to bet Acirem did somthing love?" To King. King laughed and tapped his clock "you betcha Queenie!" Queen threw a knife at king who easily caught it. "Love ya too babe" King sneered at Queen.

Arthur sighed at the cards behavoir and started to walk upstairs to his and Alfred's room knowing that was where Artur went when he diddnt want Acirem to come near him. As he neared the door he heard the sobs coming from the door and he opened it

TBC!


	2. are you my sweet devil?

A/N- hi guys! On the review which asked me where they sleep, they all have rooms for each AU couple. So sweet devils share a room etc. Etc. End A/N

Arthur and both Alfred sighed in frustration at the two demons in opposite sides of the house. Arthur sat next to Artur who was practically bawling his eyes out. 'Why the bloody fuck do I have to deal with a unstable demonic relationship?' Arthur just kept that thought to himself as he soothingly rubbed Artur's back much like a mother would a baby. Artur sniffled again and rubbed his green eyes. "I-I just wished that Acirem wouldn't be so-so!" Arthur finished for his counterpart "insensitive?" Artur nodded.

Artur had stopped crying but was still sitting next to Arthur, who was still rubbing his back. Alfred had gotten the opportunity (forced opportunity) to talk to Acirem. "Come on dude! What the fuck did you do?" Acirem just stared back nonchalantly. "Dude, don't you dare fucking pretend you cant hear me or speak, I will bring feathers in here!" Acirem glared acidly at the wall upon hearing about his angelic counterpart. He never did like Americana."Fine I'll tell you what I did." Acirem spat at his human counterpart. Alfred just held out his hand in a 'please continue' manner.

"Fine, I was just laying down on the carpet with Artur, when he asked me a question. It surprised me, but I still answered it, only it didn't seem to be the answer he was looking for and he slapped me then flew away." Alfred sighed in frustration. 'Since when am I the one who's acting mature?' He groaned and punched Acirem across the face...hard. "oww! What the fuck man!" Alfred smiled (forced) and replied "for one, pissing me off with your sexual frustrational relationship that I have to deal with, I mean even Queenie and King have a better relationship then you two!" Acirem just glared at him. Alfred relized he was off track of the conversation, "soo... what did Artur ask you? And what did you answer with man?!" Again Acirem glared but mumbled out an answer.

"He asked me whether he was just a fucktoy to me or if I actually loved him... and I said that I didn't love him..." Alfred just stared in disgust at the depressed demon in front of him 'Dude, what the fuck?! This guy is seriously fucked up... and so is his confused significant other? Is that what he is?'. Alfred didn't even know anymore. "Dude seriously?! You have to wonder why he did that?! Man even I can tell what Arturs trying to tell you!" Acirem just stared bewildered at his counterpart.

"What?" Alfred practically killed himself, "dude! He's in love with you! And he doesn't know whether you love him back, even though you two fuck everyday!" Acirem thought, confused. "Wait... he loves me?" It came out as more of a whisper. "OH FUCK! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK!" Acirem practically threw himself up the stairs tripping on his own feet. Alfred followed panting from his rant, until they both reached Alfred and Arthur's bedroom where they heard strangled sobs and hushed whispers coming from inside.

"Dude, go on!" Alfred opened the door and shoved Acirem inside, who staggered into the room. Artur looked up and growled at Acirem. "What the bloody hell are you doing here you arse?!" Acirem paled more then possible at his tone. "Uh, hey Artur honey, I'm so sorry about what happened... uh I guess, what I mean to say is-" . Acirem stopped as he felt arms wrap around him and high pitched squeals. "Oh Acirem! You do love me then?! Yay!" Alfred moved over to the bed where Arthur was. "Tough day?" Arthur nodded and sighed as he leaned agains't Alfred as they watched Acirem and Artur. "You know, with Artur's personality you'd never guess he's a demon... aside from the obvious" Arthur commented as Artur attached himself to Acirem squealing and kissing him, as Acirem held him up cringing at the high pitched squeals, but eventually gave in.

"Awww! Look Alice! The gay homo sexual frustation demons are actually having a lovey moment!" Arthur facepalmed with his female counterpart, as Alfred ran up and hugged his, Amelia. "You realize Amelia, that we are intruding right? And may I remind you we are both homosexual, as are every single residence in this house." Alice crossed her arms sourly and stated quite plainly.

Amelia giggled and let go of Alfred, "aww! Was poor little Alice jealous?! " Alice blushed "SHUT UP AMELIA!" She turned to Arthur "Arthur we came up here to tell you that IggyCat is missing, and Americat is compleatly freaking out." Both Alice and Amelia (after some yelling) went back downstairs. Arthur looked at the two demons and spoke up "Artur and Acirem! No sex on our bed! Go to your room!" Artur just giggled with half his shirt off, and Acirem's hands over his chest.

Acirem snapped his fingers and they were gone... across the hall in Their room there was a crash, and moans, and screams of "yes Acirem more!" Arthur buried his face in his hands. "Lets go find IggyCat. Alfred go get Americat, lord knows how that fat arse gets when he's stressed.


	3. Psy1 and Psy2 Madhouse (more so)

"Mrow?" Arthur looked down at the fat bundle of tanish fur in his arms, "yes you fat arse, we are going to find that cat you constantly pin for now be quiet!" As the entire house was being turned upside down by all its residents, looking for Iggycat ,Arthur was stuck with making sure 'Fat arsed cat' or correctly known as Americat diddn't do something stupid.

Which is saying something, considering who's cat he is. 'Damn you Scone, Percival, Fluffy, Card, Cupcake,Ciga, Kirkland!' Arthur mentally screamed at the missing feline. The name problem was something both Iggycat and Americat had in common. Due to so many different personalities, the cats were known as many different names by each AU for instance, take Artur he named Iggycat 'Fluffy' why he did, no one even knows.

Oliver (2p England) named him, cupcake, Queen- Card, Angel- Percival, tektonik- Ciga for his "oh so precious cigarettes"' and Scones for England or just Arthur and much, much more. All of a sudden a big squeal and string of cuss words came from the chimney, and out came Iggycat running for his life with Oliver and Alfie following him. Oliver was squealing while chasing Iggycat muttering "Cupcake deary!" And Alfie was chasing Iggycat with his bat constantly trying to hit Iggycat with it.

"DAMN FUCKING CAT! Stop moving your fucking tight fluffy ass!" Alfie yelled at Scone 'Iggycat' Arthur mentally berated himself, still holding Americat who looked like he wanted to tear Alfie's balls off, not that Oliver would allow it for he "needs them for the cupcakes." "MROWWW!" Iggycat yelped in panic, which would translate to "Americat you bloody Wanker! Come here and help meeee!" Americat "mrowed" in response and pawed at Arthur's arm. "Go ahead and save the poor thing, fat arse" he let Americat go, and go he did.

Americat raced through the house and scooped up Iggycat from the counter he was cowering on and promptly ran back to Arthur. "Oh so nowww you need me?! Well i'm not saving either of you go find Alfred before the twosies come to kill you!" Arthur pouted as Americat promptly picked Iggycat up again despite the latter's squeak of surprise and ran up the stairs in search of the second in command to of course Arthur himself. "Where's Cupcake?" Oliver popped up behind Arthur making him jump.

"He ran upstairs, away from you, you bloody psycho" A small and quaint voice spoke from around the corner. Arthur rubbed his forehead in agitation 'bloody hell, please dont tell me its who I think it is'. Oliver spun around sharply and grinned at the form of Queen, who stood nonchalantly at the bottom of the stairs. "Oh hello your majesty! How may I help your ever so sad, lonely, pathetic, little self?" Oliver grinned with a sinister look in his blue now with swirling pink eyes as Queen's eye twitched in annoyance.

"Oh, hello house lunatic number two. So sorry I couldn't hear you over my healthy mental state". Oliver growled, and slipped his knife out of his shirt, Queen glared and took the Minute hand of his clock off only to have it grow into a huge sword. Arthur groaned as he saw the two charge at each other and started to fight. 'How wonderful! The two most unstable people in the house have started to fight, again...' Arthur scooted around the two, to the head of the stairs, "ALL ALFRED'S IN THIS HOUSE GET YOUR ARSES DOWN HERE NOW! PSY1 and PSY2 ARE TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER AGAIN!" Many, many exclamations of "coming" and "hero" were heard as many, many Alfreds appeared from around the house.

Arthur nodded as he noticed all of them there. The house had made nicknames for the two most mentally unstable people in the house according to who's AU they were, Psy, short for Psycho.

The two Psy for Arthur were Queen, and Oliver, and of course for Alfred it was King (not really he just wanted the tittle) and Alfie. Arthur nodded as all the Alfreds charged at the two fighting and tackled them to the ground. "GET THE BLOODY FUCK OFF ME BEFORE I REWIND TIME AND PERSONALLY GO KILL YOUR MOTHER SO YOU ALL WERE NEVER BORN!" Queen screamed at the Alfreds on top of him while Oliver just giggled crazily at him.

"Tsk, Language Your highness!" Queen glared at him "shut your mouth peasant". Arthur glared at the both of them, "King and Alfie, come out right now!" As Arthur said this the two Alfreds got off of the other two Psys. Arthur huffed at them, "both of you go and take your partner to your rooms, neither of them are to leave your rooms for any reason, understood?" Both Alfreds nodded and picked up their partners from under the pile of Alfreds.

King tossed Queen over his shoulder not saying a word as the other muttered curses and profanity at Oliver. Oliver just giggled as he saw Queen being taken away by King, "toodaloo Queenie Meany!". When King got to both his and Queen's room he promptly tossed Queen on the bed and took off his long blue overcoat. "Tell me why you did it Queen" Queen just laid on the bed with no expression as he turned his head away from his husband.

King sighed and laid next to Queen as tears started to fall from King's eyes, he pulled Queen close to him, who was as expressionless as always when with King. "I'm sorry Queen, I'm so sorry..." King drifted into sleep as Queen laid there in his embrace. King didn't get to hear Queen say "sorry?"


	4. Spadian drama

Arthur sighed as he ran a hand through his hair, "damn AUs causing me more problems then even the Frog and you could ever!". Alfred walked over to his love and smirked "c'mon baby, what do you expect? They are US after all". Arthur just sighed in response, "you know I am curious as to why Queenie and Oliver fight so much, you'd think they'd get along!" Alfred looked at Arthur as the brit spoke.

"Dude, chill. Its not that big of a deal! I mean, I know that Alfie and King get along great!" "..." "B-but that's only because they both have to deal with their spouses and they can bond over those two!" By then Alfred had Arthur in his lap in a chair.

The brit sighed as he leaned into Alfred's embrace. "That's why I love you poppet" They both fell asleep on the couch dreaming of each others love they had for one another.  
_

Queen laid next to his husband emotionless staring at him, then he turned and faced away not before a "I wont ever forgive you...git" escaped his lips. A long time ago, before they had come to live with Alfred and Arthur they had lived in a land called "Cards" and they both ruled together. Despite popular belief that the AUs had always lived with their nation counterparts is a myth. Artur and Acirem came from Hell, like Queen and King came from "Cards". All AUs show up at their nation counterparts door, and were shown in. A new home, family.

There were Special cases though, King and Queen, Artur and Acirem, and Oliver and Alfie. 'Spades' the word ran through Queen's head as he sat up. Queen silently wove his arms around himself as comfort. 'Everything, everyone, love, all gone' Queen tightened his arms around him. 'I need to see him' and Queen all but left King in their bed.

It was past midnight in the house and almost everyone was asleep, aside from the "Special Cases" one or the other of the pair was always awake, or two... doing somethings that should not be described in detail. Queen walked down the hall and he stopped in front of a door. 'Please be awake' Queen anxiously knocked on the door. "Mmm Coming deary!" The door opened to reveal Oliver, who merely raised an eyebrow at Queen. "Mmm, what happened now deary?" Queen anxiously looked around to make sure no one was listening, "h-he said sorry Oli".

Oliver eyes looked up in surprise to see Queen nearly in tears, he let Queen in "oh fiddlesticks, get in deary". This wasn't the first time this had happened in fact it happened almost every week, but there was a good reason. Oliver made a promise to Queen, and he vowed he would never break it.

(Flashback)

"What do you mean that another came today?!" Arthur rubbed his forehead in stress "yes Oliver and he is Special just like you and Artur, I just want you to go and make him feel at home this one seems especially damaged" Oliver sighed in anger and stomped up to the "damaged lad" as Arthur would say. "Who the bloody down there do you think you a-are?" Huddled in the corner was a form completely clothed in blue, purple, white, and spades. "H-hey! Are you okay? Sp-speak already yo-you candy eating bubbletosser!"

the form lifted his head with that strange little top hat on it. "He left me, he left me for some bloody harlot" a small whisper that soon turned to full out wailing. "H-HE B-BLOODY LEFT ME FOR SOME SLUT! A-ALL BECAUSE I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING W-WITH HIM!" The AU was now a puddle of tears. Oliver just stood there before awkwardly sitting next the to AU. "There, There poppet. Who cheated on you?" The AU curled into Oliver "m-my HUSBAND!" Rage filled Oliver, now here was a perfectly kind (seemingly) lad who just wasn't ready to have any intercourse! "That's no excuse to cheat, tell you what poppet.

If we ever see that Fairy lets make him as miserable as possible savvy?" The AU nodded "whats your name?" He asked Oliver. "Oh forgive me poppet its Oliver! Well not really its Arthur but were all named that so we pick names easier to distinguish us from the others, now that I think about it we need one for you!" "Queen" Oliver looked at "Queen" " Pardon? Why Queen?". Queen shrugged "because I ruled the most powerful kingdom in all of Cards before I came here with my husband, and I was the Queen?" Oliver smiled "oh! Well in that case, welcome home Queen!"

(End flashback)

Oliver sighed as he made some bright pink tea for himself and neon blue for Queen. "Well love at least he apologized... that counts for something right?" Queens just shook with tears and stress. "N-no he has no idea what he's apologizing for! How can he say sorry if he has no idea what he did?!" Oliver paused. "Good point poppet I was just thinking is all! Here have some tea" Queen took the tea from Oliver and drank from the cup. "You know poppet you could always tell him what the problem is..." Oliver giggled slightly as he saw Queen's eyebrow twitch in annoyance. "Oli, do be quiet." "Oho! Do we actually agree on something dear 'Oli' has said?! Its the end of the world!" Queen rolled his eyes as Oliver fell to the ground giggling hysterically.

"Calm down" Oliver stopped but not before giggling slightly again "so sorry poppet, now then its very late now so toodaloo~! Go get 'im tiger!" Oliver giggled again before pushing Queen out his and Alfie's door. "W-what?! I cant talk to him about this!" "Sure you can deary! Goodnight!" And with that Oliver slammed the door on poor Queen. 'I guess there's no other way' and Queen slowly trudged back to his King's room. Queen didn't say anything as he sat down on his side of the bed looking at his husband, his husband that cheated on him so many years ago.

"K-King?...no, Alfred?" King immediately woke up. "Whats wrong?! Are you okay Queen?!" He panicked and quickly checked Queen over before freezing. "...did you just call me Alfred?" Queen blushed "so what if I did? Its your name anyways git". King stared blankly at him before smiling happily "yay! Im so glad you called me by real name! So does that mean I can call you Arthur?" Queen flushed. "O-of course not! I-I called you that by accident! J-just shut up!" Queen quickly tossed a spade knife at King in defense. King merely caught the knife and glared at Queen.

"There was no need for that Arthur..." Queen backed up "sh-shut up! You have no right to say that name!" Alfred quickly pinned Queen to the wall. "And you have no right to talk to me like that, Arthur" King whispered into Queen's ear. Queen flushed but turned his head away, "I DO HAVE THE RIGHT! Iv'e had the bloody right since you cheated on me with that bloody fucking harlot!" Queen broke down and slid from Kings hands around his wrists. "SO DONT SAY I DONT HAVE THE BLOODY RIGHT!" King looked shocked and looked down at his husband sobbing in a puddle of tears at his feet. "A-Artie..." "DON'T CALL ME THAT GOD DAMMIT!" King flinched slightly as Queen screamed at him again.

"Can you just calm down?! Geez!" King yelled right back at Queen. "NO YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU PUT ME THROUGH!" Queen let go of all past inhibitions and attacked King. "YOU HAVE NO BLOODY IDEA!" Queen continuously threw knife after knife at King "I hate how you act like you never cheated! I hate how you have the bloody audacity to apologize after how many years?!". King easily dodged all the knives as he made his way over to the side of their room Queen had moved to. "Im sorry Arthur! I was frustrated! I mean who wouldn't be?! We were together for over forty years and no sex! None! You cant blame me for doing what I did! Alright yes it was wrong and its my fault but not all of this is just my fault... its just as much your's as it is mine.

"Shut up! Im not the one who cheated on their bloody husband and acts like everything is perfectly fine!" Queen was tired, oh so sick and tired of the endless shit he had to go through. "IM DONE ALFRED!, IM SO D-". In King's arms was the sobbing and now stiff Queen. "I'm so sorry Artie... I never meant to hurt you so much." King nestled his head on top of Queen's. Queen recovered from the apparent shock of King embracing him "get off me!" "NO!" Queen jumped at King's tone.

"Wh-what did you say?" "I SAID NO ARTHUR, why can't you just shut up and understand and accept that im sorry?!" King now held Queen tighter and firmly, so he couldn't escape his grasp. "B-because if I do... you'll just hurt me again..." "I WONT! I wont cheat on you or anything! I won't force you to have sex unless you want to! Please Arthur, please" Queen blushed as King stared at him with those blue eyes of his... in puppy mode.

Queen sighed "I... fine git... I love you know that right?" King jumped for joy and glomped Arthur all over again "Of course you do! Who wouldn't love a AWSOME king like me?!" "Well I for one wouldn't" both King and Queen turned around sharply to be greeted by Arthur, the country one. Queen quickly turned flustered "A-Ah Arthur! Um i'm so sorry did we wake you?" Arthur just glared at them, after all he was a real princess when he's just woken up even more so by stupid relationship problems over hundreds of years old... every god damn day.

"Shut up and Both of you fucking have sex and sleep!" And with that Arthur slammed the door closed and stomped down the dark hallway, leaving a blushing Queen and a laughing King behind. A blushing Teenaged America was in the hallway clad in his uniform pajamas, "this time for sure! I'll finally get Iggy to notice me!".

A/N

okay! to that lovely review asking about Gakuen, each chapter will have a set couple XD but just for you I made the next one Gakuen, love me. XDD I finally have a computer as well! so, that means more updates hopefully!


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